How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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