Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
