He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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