I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I need to calm my uterus...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
