Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
