dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
