I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
