ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
