You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
