And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
