the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize