i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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