ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
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She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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