..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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