u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Randomize
