i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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