David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
