she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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