smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
