he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
