i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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