Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize