I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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