You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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