Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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