I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
