I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
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He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
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But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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