Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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