i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
