it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
