Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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