theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Did I show you my penis last night?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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