I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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