I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
