put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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