Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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