yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
