Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
