office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
