Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
