so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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