You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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