she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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