I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
