Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I need to wash the frat house off of me
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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