Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
