I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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