I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
