Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
