what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
