Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
