S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
