so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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