just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
