I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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