remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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