She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
