She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
