you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I would ride that face into the sunset
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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