imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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