I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Randomize
